


Planking Like It's My Destiny

by babykid528



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Absinthe, Drunken Shenanigans, Innuendo, M/M, Patrick and Chris are Idiots, Planking, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Zach is a Saint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykid528/pseuds/babykid528
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zach really likes Chris. He <em>really</em> likes Chris. He likes Chris so much that deep down inside he might even be persuaded to admit he kind of loves Chris.</p><p>That Zach loves Chris is the only rational explanation for why he agrees to put up with his shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Planking Like It's My Destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dome_epais](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dome_epais/gifts).



> On tumblr, [lelied](http://lelied.tumblr.com/) asked: _imagine zquinto finding out that cpie has a deep and very out of date passion for inexpert planking_
> 
> I wrote some ficlet in response.

Zach really likes Chris. He  _really_  likes Chris. He likes Chris so much that deep down inside he might even be persuaded to admit he kind of loves Chris.

That Zach loves Chris is the only rational explanation for why he agrees to put up with his shit.

Zach has no other explanation for what would make him agree to meet Chris and Patrick at their favorite bar when he knows they've both been drinking for hours already. When he knows that Chris, who is the one who calls him, is in full jolly drunk mode. A mode that past experience has taught him consists of a mess of sloppy grins, crinkled eyes, and flushed skin. An infuriatingly sexy combination.

When Zach arrives at the bar, the bartender points him to the back door of the place. She tells him his two friends are waiting for him out back. The way she's almost smirking, but also definitely repressing an eye-roll, tells him everything he needs to know about the situation. Zach thanks her and takes a deep breath before heading out to retrieve them.

"Chris? Patrick? Where are..." He let's his initial question die off when he catches sight of them. Or, him, rather.

_What the fuck, Christopher..._

"What the fuck is he doing?" he asks with a quick glance at Patrick.

Patrick, who is clearly not as inebriated as Chris but still inebriated enough to find all of this fondly amusing, just shrugs.

"Zach! I'm planking!" Chris yells.

Chris is certainly not planking. Sure, he's laying on his stomach, stretched across a row of tall, square recycling bins. That's the only thing he's doing that even resembles planking though. His arms are windmilling at his sides, as if he's trying to swim on dry land and his legs are spread and bent at the knees so his feet are up in the air, kicking a little.

Zach tilts his head.

"Did you have absinthe tonight?"

Chris' sloppy grin turns even sloppier. (Before witnessing it, Zach would never have believed Chris could look even sloppier.)

"Perhaps," Chris answers on a whisper, like it's some secret that he's a stupid mess of a drunk person right now.

Chris looks at him straight on for the first time since Zach's arrival and his blue eyes somehow sparkle in the low light behind the bar.

"You should plank with me," Chris says, all earnestness. He licks his lips obscenely before he continues, "You should plank  _on_  me, actually. Naked."

"Oh my God!" Zach exclaims, voice unnaturally high, "For the sake of all our sanities, let's get you both home now!"

Patrick is doubled over, howling laughing.

Zach punches him in the side as he steps forward to help Chris off the bins he's now limply draped across.

It takes surprisingly little corralling to get the two of them back on their feet and out through the bar. The bartender gives Zach a quick smile as they go by and he makes a mental note to force Chris to send her a gift as soon as he's sober again. If she was a less discreet, kind person, she could have had a lucrative media circus waiting out front for them. The parking lot is clear though.

Chris snuggles close to Zach's side and kisses his cheek as Zach helps him to the car. Patrick is perfectly capable of walking without assistance, thankfully, but Zach still grips onto the hem of his shirt with his free hand so he can't wander away from them.

"You're a good man," Patrick tells him as he climbs into the back of Zach's car.

"Yeah," Zach scoffs before shutting him in the car and moving around to the passenger side with Chris.

"You're the  _very best_  man," Chris says, lips dangerously close to Zach's ear.

"And you're the very worst," Zach tells him while pushing Chris against the rear passenger door.

Chris has the good grace to look mildly apologetic beneath the smug smirk that has taken over his face.

"I was serious about that mutual planking we should be doing," Chris says and licks his lips again.

Zach shakes his head and steps close, pressing Chris against the car.

"If you want to discuss the possibility of naked planking when you're sober, you know where to find me," He says, voice almost a growl.

Chris' eyes widen, still twinkling with mirth.

"Okay," he agrees on an exhale.

Zach reaches beside Chris and pulls open the front passenger door. He glances at Chris' mouth.

"Get in the car," he says, taking a step back.

Chris nods and thankfully does as he's told.

Zach shakes his head as he closes the door behind Chris. He sucks in a slow, deep breath. In a few seconds he'll get into the driver's seat and bring his two idiot friends home. They'll likely fall asleep during the drive and it will be a whole new struggle to get them into Chris' house when they reach it, so he takes a moment of calm for himself. 

He might be having an interesting conversation with Chris tomorrow, after all. This may be the last moment of calm he ever has.


End file.
